Heights of bad luck..

Heights of bad luck..
A boy and a girl met for the last
time for their breakup..
.
.
.
.
Girl's dad caught them..
:(
.
.
.
.
.
.
now they are a married couple

Newton Become Pascal

This pj Will surely kill u -

Scientists were playing hide & seek in heaven.

Einstein was seeker.

Newton didn't hide & stood in a square of 1 meter.

Einstein: I found u newton !! Thappa !!!

Newton: U are wrong. I am not newton. As i am standing in 1 mt square, i am newton/per mt sq. So I am pascal.

Twilight Effect

Right Click

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Desktop."

Customer: "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'."

Signs Your Cop Partner Needs A Vacation:

9. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren.

8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar.

7. He wants you to call him "Judge Dredd", and he insists that all suspects should be executed right there on the spot.

6. He talks to himself. Half of him is the "good cop", and the other half is the "bad cop".

5. He keeps asking you if his bullet proof vest makes him look fat.

4. He is exchanging donut recipes with complete strangers.

3. The perpetrators beg him to stop talking about his relationship troubles.

2. He wants to hear less talk and more music on the police channel.

1. He keeps handcuffing himself by accident!!

 Q : What happened to the cat that swallowed a ball of wool? 


A : She had mittens.

To be a “Good professional”,
always start to study late for 
“Exams”.
Because it teaches how to manage
 “Time”
and tackle “Emergencies”!!

Exams And Girl friends

Exams are like Girl friends

1 - Too many questions
2 - Difficult to understand
3 - More explanation is needed
4 - Result is always fail! 

Zombies Halloween

Q : What should you do when zombies surround your house?


A : Hope it’s Halloween.

Q : What do you call a witch at the beach? 


A : A sandwich.

The 'smartest man in the world'

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack.":)

Computer Song

Computer Song To be sung with the theme from the Beverly Hillbillys:
Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Ted, A poor college kid, barely kept his family fed. But then one day he was talking to a recruiter who said, "they'll pay big bucks if ya work on a computer"..

UNIX, that is....Windows 95....Workstations...C++...VB

Well, the first thing ya know ol' Ted's an engineer. The kinfolk said "Ted, move away from here". They said "Arizona is the place you oughta be" so he bought some donuts and he moved to Ahwatukee...

Intel, that is....dry heat... no amusement parks.....

On his first day at work, they stuck him in a cube. Fed him lots of donuts and sat him at a tube. They said "your project's late, but we know just what to do Instead of 40 hours, we'll work you 52!"

OT, that is ...unpaid...mandatory.....

The weeks rolled by and things were looking bad. Schedules started slipping and some managers were mad. They called another meeting and decided on a fix. the answer's very simple..."we'll work him sixty-six!"

Tired, that is.. stressed out.. no social life....

Months turned into years and his hair was turning gray. Ted worked very hard while his life just slipped away Waiting to retire when he turned 64, instead he got a call and escorted out the door.

Laid off, that is...de-briefed...unemployed.

Now the moral of the story is, do what you are told companies will use you and discard you when you're old So gather up your friends and start your own firm, Beat the competition, watch old bosses squirm.

Millionaires that is.....Bill Gates...Steve Jobs...

Ya'll come back now, ya hear.

There! Now get back to work!

Q : Why does everyone love cats?


A : Because they’re purr-fect!

Q : Why is there a crab in prison? 


A : Because he kept pinching things!

Oxford Dictionary

Once Rajnikanth was practicing for a spelling test... the 

rough sheet he used is known as... 

"oxford dictionary"

Santa : Why are all those people running? 
Banta : They are running a race to get a cup. 
Santa : Who will get the cup? 
Banta : The person who wins. 
Santa : Then why are all the others running? 

Facebook For Animals

If animals had facebook accounts,
their status would be like this: 

Chicken- if tomorrow i am not updating my status, 

means i am being served at KFC..

love you all...

 Lion- which one is more dangerous: a lion or a leone...

Pig-oh gosh they throw the gossips that 

i am spreading flu...

Cockroach:- managed to skip someone's foot step...

Cat:- my 7th child is asking who is her dad.. 

what shall i tell her??  i don't even remember..

and should i tell her i'm going to eat her?

Octopus-i have just refilled my ink.. hurray!

Goat-friends, don't go out, Eid holiday is coming..

Mosquito- a big fat lady is going to hit me with "HIT"...

But i can't do anything becoz my blood group is same as that of her...

Mouse- i have cheeze...

But i wants to eat cheeze with a large pack of vodka...

LOLzzz...

Dog:- waiting for my owner to pick up..

time for saloon...

Once Rajnikanth chat with his girlfriend with the help of a blue & white paper...

now that blue & white paper is known as...

"Facebook"

Husband texts to Wife on cell...

hi, what r u doing?

Wife- i m dying..

Husband jumps with joy but types Sweet Heart, how can i 

live without u?

Wife- u idiot i m dying my hair..

Husband- bloody english language..

Old Woman

Two Ladies are Fighting for a Seat in a Bus... 

Bus Conductor- the Old one should Sit here
Both looked at each other
and 
Seat remains empty...

Poor Son in law

Once an Old Man was waiting for a Train sitting at a bench... 

A Young Boy came 2 him & asked the time...
Old man refused to tell the time.

Boy insisted again and again but the Old man kept denying.
Boy asked for a reason.

Old man says :- if i tell u the time, 
then u will ask about my Name, Job, etc... 
Then i will ask about you... both of us will be frank... 
By chance u may get a sit with me. 
Then u might get down at my station..
my Daughter will come 2 receive me, she will meet you... 
she is Beautiful. you may fall in love with her, she too. 
Then u might decide 2 get married & I am sorry, 
i don't want such a Poor Son in law, 
who doesn't even have his own watch to see the time!!

Ultimate Insult..!!

I Love Your Smile Because..
.
.
.
.
.
.
My Favorite Colour Is “YELLOW”!!

Second Opinion

The doctor to the patient: 'You are very sick' 

The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?' 

The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too...'

The Blonde Cop

A blonde in a convertible is speeding down the highway when she gets pulled over by a female police officer, who also turns out to be a blonde. 
She walks up to the convertible and asks to see the blonde's drivers license. 
Confused, the blonde asks, "What does a license look like?" Eager to help, the officer happily responds, "It's that thing in your purse with your face on it." 
The blonde begins searching through her purse and finally pulls out a mirror. She flips it open, sees her own reflection and figures that must be it. 
After handing it over to the officer, the officer carefully looks at it says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If I knew you were a cop, I wouldn't have pulled you over!"

The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex.

The personnel office sent this reply: "Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we do have a few alcoholics."

Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."

Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

Don't marry for money - you can borrow it cheaper!

A patient: Doctor, I don't feel hungry after taking meal.

Doctor: Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit. 

(After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines).

Doctor: Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up.

Doctors son: Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines of success. 

Doctor father: Always, write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly.

Catholic Terminology

AMEN 
The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. 

BULLETIN 
Your receipt for attending Mass. 

CHOIR 
A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync. 

HOLY WATER 
A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY. 

HYMN 
A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range. 

RECESSIONAL HYMN 
The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left. 

INCENSE 
Holy Smoke! 

JESUITS 
An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams. 

JONAH 
The original "Jaws" story. 

JUSTICE 
When kids have kids of their own. 

KYRIE ELEISON 
The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. 

MAGI 
The most famous trio to attend a baby shower. 

MANGER 
Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. Holiday travel has always been rough. 

PEW 
A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches. 

PROCESSION 
The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats. 

RECESSIONAL 
The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot. 

RELICS 
People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand. 

TEN COMMANDMENTS 
The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman. 

USHERS
 The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew. 

Absence!

Father: Why did you get such a low score in that exam?

Son: Absence!

Father: You were absent on the day of the exam?

Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!

Knock Knock

Knock Knock

Who's there ?

Cows ! Cows who ?

Cows go 'moo' not who!

 Knock, Knock. 

Who's there? 

Hoo. Hoo who? 

You talk like an owl! 

Knock Knock 

Who's there ! 

Lion ! Lion who ? 

Lion on your doorstep, open up ! 

Knock Knock Who's there ! 

Dragon ! 

Dragon who ? 

Dragon your feet again ! 

Knock Knock 

Who's there ! 

Duck ! 

Duck who ? 

Just duck ! They're throwing things at us ! 

Knock Knock 

Who's there? 

Toucan! 

Toucan who? 

Toucan play at this game! 

Knock Knock 

Who's there? 

Spider! 

Spider who? 

Spider what everyone says. I like you! 

Knock Knock 

Who's there? 

Safari! 

Safari who? 

Safari so good! 

Knock Knock 

Who's there? 

Owl! 

Owl who? 

Owl Aboard! 

Knock Knock 

Who's there? 

Quacker! 

Quacker who?

Quacker another bad joke and I'm leaving! 

Knock Knock 

Who's there? 

Rabbit! 

Rabbit who? 

Rabbit up carefully, it's fragile 

Knock Knock 

Who's there? 

Goat! 

Goat who? 

Goat to believe in magic. 

Knock Knock. 

Who's there? 

Bass! 

Bass who? 

Bass the salt and pepper please! 

Knock knock 

Who's there 

Gorilla 

Gorilla who Gorilla me a hamburger 

Knock Knock 

Who's there? 

Oink 

Oink! Oink Oink Who? 

Make Up Your Mind...Are You A Pig Or An Owl? 

Knock Knock. 

Who's there? 

Alligator! 

Alligator who? 

Alligator for her birthday was a card! 

Knock Knock 

Who's there? 

Thumpin! 

Thumping who? 

Thumping green and slimy is climbing up your back! 

Q : Why are most Guidos named Tony?


A : When they got on the boat to America they stamped To NY (Tony) on their foreheads.

Computer Viruses

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: 
Your 1.3gb hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80mb and then slowly expands back to 1.3gb.

AT&T VIRUS: 
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

MCI VIRUS: 
Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: 
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back...

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: 
Prevents your system from spawning any child process without joining into a binary network.

TERRY RANDLE VIRUS: 
Prints "oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort".

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: 
Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.

EMELDA MARCOS VIRUS: 
Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive shoes it purchases through Prodigy.

GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: 
It starts by boldly stating "Read my docs...No new files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional virus.

DENVER BRONCOS VIRUS: 
Makes your P133 machine perform like a 286/AT

L.A.P.D. VIRUS: 
It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defense".

Computer Terminology

486 - The average IQ needed to understand a P.C.

State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.

Obsolete - Any computer you own.

Microsecond - The time it takes for your State-of-the-art-computer to become obsolete.

Syntax Error - Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.

GUI (pronounced gooey) - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.

Computer Chip - Any starchy food stuff consumed in mass quantities while programming.

Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.

Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

Hard Drive - The sales technique employed by computer salesmen.

Portable Computer - A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation and on business trips.

Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.

System Update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.

Q : Why didn't the skeleton go to the Halloween party?


A : Because he had no-body to go with.

Q : How do porcupines kiss each other? 


A : Very carefully.

Q : Why did the man throw the butter out the window? 


A : Because he wanted to see butterfly.

Q : Why do birds fly south for the winter? 


A : Because it’s too far to walk.

Q : What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire? 


A : Frostbite.

Q : Why don’t mummies have hobbies?


A : Because they’re too wrapped up in their work.

Q : What do you call a brainy insect? 


A : A spelling bee.

Q : Where does Dracula stay in New York?


A : The Vampire State Building.

Q : Why do bees hum? 


A : Because they don’t know the words

Q: Where do you find giant snails?


A: On the ends of their fingers. 
(Giants' nails.) 

A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?


B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman. 

Fastest communications

Only 2 types of communications are the Fastest in the World-

(1) e-mail
&
(2) Female

vampire's bat

Q : Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game? 


A : Because they couldn't find their bats.

Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog. 

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. 

For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs. 

For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg. 

As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off. 

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident.
It's a bad one, caused by the woman's reckless driving.

Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says;
“So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman.
Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.
This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied," I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!

The woman continued,
"And look at this, here's another miracle.
My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine didn't break.
Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police to come and collect their evidence."

Adam ate the apple again !=D

Men will NEVER learn !
Women will Never change!!! =D

The Intelligent joke

Lady: Do you smoke?
Guy: Yes I do.
Lady: How many packs a day?
Guy: 3 packs.
Lady: How much per pack?
Guy: $10.00 per pack.
Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Guy: 15 years
Lady: So 1 pack is $10.00 and you have been smoking 3 packs a day which puts your spending per month at $900. In 1 year, it would have been $10,800. Correct?
Guy: Correct.
Lady: If 1 year you spend $10,800, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending total at $162,000. Correct?
Guy: Correct.
Lady: Do you know if you hadn't smoke, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have by now bought a Ferrari?
Guy: Oh. Do you smoke?
Lady: No.
Guy: Then where's your fucking Ferrari?

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

Banta goes over to visit one of his friends, Santa.

While he is at her Santa s house it starts to rain very heavily the type that is not going to stop.

Santa tells him to spend the night at his house and go home the next day.

When he hears this, he rushes out the door and comes a while later totally drenched and carrying a small bag.

So Santa asks, "Where did you run off too!"

Banta says, "I went home to get my nightwear!"

Santa and Banta 's interview

Santa and Banta decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Banta gets called in for his interview.

The boss asks Banta if he had worked underground mines before? Banta says that he had.

The boss asks him how deep under ground he worked?

Banta says, "Oh, about 8 to 10 feet."

The boss says, "Mines are a lot deeper than that, get out of here - you're no miner!"

On his way out, Banta tells Santa to tell the boss that he worked real deep underground so he could get the job. Santa gets called in.

The boss asks Santa if he had worked underground mines before?

Santa says, "Oh sure."

The boss asks how deep underground he worked.

Santa says, "I used to work in a mine 20,000 feet underground."

The boss says, "20,000 feet, Wow! That is incredible!, "What kind of lights did you use in a mine so deep underground?"

Santa says, "Oh, I didn't need a light, I worked on the day shift!"

Little Johnny... Finding Jesus

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."

Mary answers, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"

The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.

"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"

German Currency

Q: What do you call counterfeited German currency?

A: Question marks.

A Blonde Test

A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.

"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."

Windows Slogans

At the time of writing, Microsoft's slogan for Windows 95 was "Where do you want to go today?" These are some alternative and probably more truthful ad slogans for use with Windows.

1. Microsoft gives you Windows - OS/2 give you the whole house.

2. A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle.

3. Windows and DOS: A turtle and its shell. 

4. Bang on the left side of your computer to restart Windows. 

5. Windows: The colorful clown suit for DOS. 

6. Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance. 

7. Windows 3.1: The best $89 solitaire game you can buy. 

8. Windows NT: Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty. 

9. I'll never forget the first time I ran Windows, but I'm trying. 

10. I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better 

11. My lastest screen-saver: Curtains for Windows. 

12. Double your drive space: Delete Windows! 

13. OS/2. Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates. 

14. Out of disk space. Delete Windows? [Y]es [A]solutely [O]f Course!

15. How do you want to crash today? 

TYPES OF PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK

1) The "Rooster" – Feels that it is their job to tell Facebook "Good Morning" every day. 

2) The "Lurker" – Never posts or comments on ur post, but reads everything, and might make reference to your status if they see you in public. 

3) The "Hyena" – Doesn't ever really say 
anything, just LOLs and LMAOs at everything. 

4) "Mr/Ms Popular" – Has 4,367 friends for NO reason! 

5) The "Gamer" – Plays Words With Friends, Mafia Wars, Bakes virtual cakes and stuff, etc., ALL DAY. 

6) The "Cynic" – Hates their life, and everything in it, as evidenced by the somber tone in ALL of their status updates. 

7) The "Collector" – Never posts anything either, but joins every 
group and becomes fans of the most random stuff. 

8)The "Promoter" – Always sends event 
invitations to things that you ultimately delete or ignore. 

9) The "Liker" – Never actually says anything, but always clicks the "like" button. 

10) "Drama Queen/ King" – This person 
always posts stuff like "I can't believe this!", or "They gonna make me snap today!", in the hopes that you will ask what happened, or what's wrong but then they never finish telling the story. 

11) The "News" – Always updates you on what they are doing and who they are doing it with, no matter how arbitrary, 

12) The "Thief" – Steals status updates... and will probably steal this one.

Talking Dog

A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout.
"This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent.
 "Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, 
"What's on the top of a house?" 
"Roof!" the dog replies.
 "Oh, come on..." the talent agent responds. "All dogs go 'roof'."
"No, wait," the guy says. He asks the dog, 
"What does sandpaper feel like?"
 "Rough!" the dog answers. 
The talent agent gives a condescending stare. He is losing his patience. 
"No, hang on," the guy says. "This one will amaze you." 
He turns and asks the dog: 
"Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?" 
"Ruth!" barks the dog. 
And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street. 
The dog then turns to the guy and says, "Maybe I should said DiMaggio?"

Lawyers Are Always Rich

Rich lawyer, poor lawyer and Santa Claus walk down a street, they see a $5 note on the pavement. Who picks it up?


The rich lawyer, the other two don't exist...

The Wise Lawyer

A rich old man gave his lawyer, his priest and his doctor each a million dollars on the condition that they put it in the coffin with him when he died so he could prove "you can take it with you". 

At the funeral, they all put in their envelopes, then 

The priest said " I have to be honest, part of the job you know, I only put 25% in. The rest went to the needy in my parish".
The doc said "I better be honest too, I only put in half the money, the rest went to operations to save needy patients lives".
The lawyer said, disdainfully, "How dare you not honor the last wishes of a dear old friend! I gave him a check for the whole amount!"

The blonde on an aeroplane

There's this blonde.

She gets on a plane and sits in the first available seat. The flight attendant is coming around checking tickets. She looks at the blonde woman's ticket and tells the blonde; "ma'am you can't sit here, your ticket says coach and this is first class. please move to the back of the plane"

The blonde replies "I'm a blonde, I'm smart and have a good job. I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica"

So the flight attendant, now hot under the collar at the blonde's response, goes to another flight attendant and tells him what happened. so he goes up to her and asks her to move to the back of the plane.

She then responds "I'm a blonde, I'm smart and have a good job. I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica".

So the two flight attendants are steaming mad and they go to the co-pilot and tells him what is going on. He comes back to where the blonde is sitting and leans over and whispers something in her ear.

The two flight attendants were astonished when the blonde abruptly got up from her seat and moved to the back of the plane. They looked at each other and then the co-pilot and asked him what he told her.

The co-pilot, feeling good about himself told them "oh, this happened a while back with someone else. I just simply told the woman that the front half of the plane wasn't going to Jamaica".

Best breakup :

Girl: I hate you get lost, 
I Don't wanna talk to you,
This relationship is over..!
.
.
.
Boy: What happened..??
I didn't look up with any
girl, I love only you..!!
.
.
.
Girl:Shut up, i don't wanna be with you,

you didn't 'Like' my status on facebook..!!!

Q : How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer?

A : There's white-out all over the screen.

Ultimate College Truth:

The person who runs the xerox center in our college will have better knowledge of our syllabus than us.