1. A man will pay 200Rs for a 100Rs item he wants. A woman will pay 100Rs for a 200Rs item that she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die.
6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
7. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.
8. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
9. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage & after marriage.
Sunday 15 December 2013
Saturday 14 December 2013
MBA to engineer Student:" Can u kiss that pretty Girl..
.
engineer Student:" Yes Of Course!!
.
MBA:" If u Can! I Will give u 1000 Rs!
.
engg Student:" O.K Done!!
.
.
engineer Student gone to near that Girl& Said:" I Can Kiss u without Touching you!
.
Girl:" Impossible n (laugh)
.
engineer Student:" I will bet 500 Rs...
.
Girl:" O.K Done!
.
engg Student Tightly Kissed her!
.
Girl Soughted:" you Cheat me!
You Can not kiss me without touching me!
.
engineer Student:" O.K,Why are you crying,take your 500 Rupiye
.
engineer Student Received Rs 1000 from MBA & give Rs 500 to that Girl
Dont challenge engineers,They can do anything
.
engineer Student:" Yes Of Course!!
.
MBA:" If u Can! I Will give u 1000 Rs!
.
engg Student:" O.K Done!!
.
.
engineer Student gone to near that Girl& Said:" I Can Kiss u without Touching you!
.
Girl:" Impossible n (laugh)
.
engineer Student:" I will bet 500 Rs...
.
Girl:" O.K Done!
.
engg Student Tightly Kissed her!
.
Girl Soughted:" you Cheat me!
You Can not kiss me without touching me!
.
engineer Student:" O.K,Why are you crying,take your 500 Rupiye
.
engineer Student Received Rs 1000 from MBA & give Rs 500 to that Girl
Dont challenge engineers,They can do anything
Sunday 8 December 2013
Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT company.
During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: “You’re all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don’t trouble the other employees”.
The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees..
Four weeks later the boss returns and says: “You’re all working very hard, and I’m very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?” The cannibals disown all knowledge of the missing developer. After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: “Which of you idiots ate the developer?”
One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: “You FOOL! For four weeks we’ve been eating team leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed anything, and now YOU ate one developer and it got noticed. So here after please don’t eat a person who is working.”
During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: “You’re all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don’t trouble the other employees”.
The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees..
Four weeks later the boss returns and says: “You’re all working very hard, and I’m very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?” The cannibals disown all knowledge of the missing developer. After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: “Which of you idiots ate the developer?”
One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: “You FOOL! For four weeks we’ve been eating team leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed anything, and now YOU ate one developer and it got noticed. So here after please don’t eat a person who is working.”
Saturday 7 December 2013
An ambitious software engineer finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life. At least for a while. A hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost instantly.
The man found himself swept up on the shores of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
Used to five-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. So, for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old life, and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.
One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She rowed up to him.
In disbelief, he asked her: “Where did you come from, and how did you get here?”
“I rowed from the other side of the island,” she said.
“I landed here when my cruise ship sank.”
“Amazing,” the software engineer said, “I didn’t know anyone else had survived. How many of you are there?
You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you.”
“It’s only me,” she said, “and the rowboat didn’t wash up: nothing did.”
He was confused, “Then how did you get the rowboat?”
“Oh, simple,” replied the woman. “I made it out of raw material that I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum-tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree.”
“But, but, that’s impossible,” stuttered the man. “You had no tools or hardware – how did you manage?”
“Oh, that was no problem,” the woman said. “On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of exposed alluvial rock. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature, it melted into forgeable ductile iron.
I used that to make tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. But enough of that. Where do you live?”
Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time.
“Well, let’s row over to my place then,” she said.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf.
As the man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck.
As they walked into the house, she said casually, “It’s not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like to have a drink?”
“No, no, thank you,” he said, still dazed. “I couldn’t drink another drop of coconut juice.”
“It’s not coconut juice,” the woman replied. “I have made a still-How about a Pinacolada?”
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the software engineer accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk.
After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, “I’m going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to have a shower and a shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom.”
No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism.
“This woman is absolutely amazing,” he mused. “What next?”
When he returned, the woman greeted him. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her.
“Tell me,” she began suggestively, slithering closer to him, brushing her leg against his, “We’ve both been out here for a very long time. You’ve been lonely. There’s something I’m sure you really feel like doing right now, something you’ve been longing to do for all of these months.”
She stared into his eyes. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing- this was like all of his dreams coming true in one day.
“You mean…,” he replied, “I can check my e-mail from here?”
The man found himself swept up on the shores of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
Used to five-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. So, for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old life, and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.
One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She rowed up to him.
In disbelief, he asked her: “Where did you come from, and how did you get here?”
“I rowed from the other side of the island,” she said.
“I landed here when my cruise ship sank.”
“Amazing,” the software engineer said, “I didn’t know anyone else had survived. How many of you are there?
You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you.”
“It’s only me,” she said, “and the rowboat didn’t wash up: nothing did.”
He was confused, “Then how did you get the rowboat?”
“Oh, simple,” replied the woman. “I made it out of raw material that I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum-tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree.”
“But, but, that’s impossible,” stuttered the man. “You had no tools or hardware – how did you manage?”
“Oh, that was no problem,” the woman said. “On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of exposed alluvial rock. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature, it melted into forgeable ductile iron.
I used that to make tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. But enough of that. Where do you live?”
Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time.
“Well, let’s row over to my place then,” she said.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf.
As the man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck.
As they walked into the house, she said casually, “It’s not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like to have a drink?”
“No, no, thank you,” he said, still dazed. “I couldn’t drink another drop of coconut juice.”
“It’s not coconut juice,” the woman replied. “I have made a still-How about a Pinacolada?”
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the software engineer accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk.
After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, “I’m going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to have a shower and a shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom.”
No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism.
“This woman is absolutely amazing,” he mused. “What next?”
When he returned, the woman greeted him. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her.
“Tell me,” she began suggestively, slithering closer to him, brushing her leg against his, “We’ve both been out here for a very long time. You’ve been lonely. There’s something I’m sure you really feel like doing right now, something you’ve been longing to do for all of these months.”
She stared into his eyes. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing- this was like all of his dreams coming true in one day.
“You mean…,” he replied, “I can check my e-mail from here?”
Sunday 1 December 2013
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, ‘You should do it because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, ‘You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.’
Wife replies, ‘No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.’
Husband replies, ‘I can’t believe that, show me.’
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the Old Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . ‘HEBREWS’
The wife said, ‘You should do it because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, ‘You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.’
Wife replies, ‘No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.’
Husband replies, ‘I can’t believe that, show me.’
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the Old Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . ‘HEBREWS’
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)